April 2013
1 post
nearing 'the end'
On the 26th I’ll be completely done university. I’m unlikely to go back for any sort of graduate degree (only continued education, if anything) but it’s still …. weird. Mostly because I didn’t take a break in-between schooling (not even internship, haha, would’ve ended yet another year later) and I’m a little bit nervous about leaving my comfort zone....
March 2013
1 post
Yayay getting better at eating enough in a day + not having to gobble up emergency almonds + not eating all of my food in one meal in the evening. Whoo.
Still not consistent, but I’m feeling much better now.
February 2013
2 posts
I’m going to start to log my food/eating habits because I really can’t trust myself to eat enough right now and I need to retrain myself on how to eat. I’m debating on whether or not I should put it here, or on my Dreamwidth or what. Regardless I’m not going to be putting it into fitbit right away because I need to get accustomed to measuring + I hate fucking around finding...
I’m finding it so difficult to choke down enough food in a day. Not because of diet/body reasons, but because I got used to not having an appetite that now I’m finding it hard to plan for… eating enough. And actually being hungry.
Fuck you depression.
I need cooking elves. Or some hamburger helper, haha. At least I’m going grocery shopping today. At least I’m doing...
January 2013
2 posts
I feel so awkward/awful in my own body.
Airplanes v. 2.0
jyrraeth:
Finished Exams and now I’m packed and ready to go fly a stupid amount of time.
I think it’s 12 hours but I don’t really care how many hours it is if its over 6. Its over 6 by a lot.
Anyways, that means I’m going to be scarce on the internet until at least 3~4pm Newfoundland time with a similar story when I fly back. Whenever that is.
As well I’m going to be a rural area, so for...
November 2012
2 posts
1 tag
So I might not fail all of my courses. Narrowly.
For reference, my highest midterm score this term is 48%. orz
(I also forgot the formula sheet that I was allowed on that one)
I’m still bummed, but at least I’ll be able to manage my time to do the important things. If I fail the midterm tomorrow (likely) I’ll still be able to narrowly pass.
Kind of sad that I’m looking...
1 tag
long time no text post
aeghglhlhh.
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I’m worried about school. I’m worried that I’m going to fail. I’m worried that I won’t be able to graduate this year, and since the courses that I’d need to take aren’t offered in the summer. I’m afraid I’m going to miss graduating by one class.
I do have contingency plans. I only need 5 classes to graduate, even...
October 2012
2 posts
so i guess this school year isn’t going as well as i had hoped
fuck
OCs
aaaaah I’m just going to say that I finally got a start on the visual character design on one of my OCs. aaaaah it was driving me nuts before because she didn’t really have a look… aside from some vague descriptions (slippery black hair, tall and lanky, slouchy) and now I got somewhere to jump off of yaaay
Its still got a way to morph, though. I just love bomber jackets.
September 2012
1 post
1 tag
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Aughn under a read more so that I don’t get too embarrassed by myself.
Feeling kind of poopy about myself today for no apparent reason. Probably just need to get out and about, probably a bike ride, but still aughkjsdf. Just feel dumb.
Though maybe I should just write down a bunch of all my worries and maybe that’ll help?????
Today I’ve been kind of worrying about...
August 2012
6 posts
goals goals goals
bup bup bup
should probably organize some goals, now that I’m in a mental state where I can actually be productive. but I’m lazy. alas.
Probably will do a word document, but if I don’t put it somewhere in my online stuff I will forget about it really quickly.
idek
but yeah, I also have a fitocracy profile that I’ve rediscovered. I’ll be logging my workouts there...
Pork/Leek/Lemon Meatballs
Made some super yummy stuff tonight:
1/2 lb of lean ground pork 1 Extra Large Egg Several Sprigs of fresh thyme 12 or so leaves of tarragon lemon zest 1 leek some barley flour (just happened to be that)
Sautee Leek in olive oil (or butter), until it smells amazing. While that’s going on put everything else in a bowl, except for barley flour. Once Leeks are floppy, throw them in the...
Aaaaaaaaag life
Got my ‘new’ bike from my dad Now all I need to do is get in shape enough to go to school/grocery store/mall
Got a membership to a gym that’s pretty rad
Need to remember to stretch my calves so I can do squats
Got a mani/pedi and my eyebrows waxed with my mom
Found out about The Void (game) from my brother. Basically Art: The Game.
saw a kitty in my...
Should probably type this out so I don’t forget to do these things. Just kind of babbling here.
Calf stretching hhhhhnnngggg
Weights — check out gym
Yoga
find out if rain dances work
go to CT to get odds and ends (can opener, um other junk make a list irl)
read things
write
draw
get bike from dad
get helmet
yop
Ughnnhnhnh so uninspired with food lately. I generally have enough skill to throw together a bunch of things with my ad hoc approach to groceries. But I’m just getting… bored?
Also I get really annoyed at some food blogs regarding low-carb stuff. Some people froth at the mouth against low-carb stuff, and then there’s the crazy low-carbers who eat bacon with everything. (Oh and I...
Less sad more tv post
So I’ve been thinking that I should get around to watching some TV shows and junk… though I’m going to avoid the crazy clusterfuck that is Dr. Who (sry) because I just… it’s just … too much. ;~;
Though I’m including anime series in the list too. Just episodic-thingies = TV. yes.
So:
Gravity Falls
Adventure Time
Teen Wolf ??
Avatar: The Last...
June 2012
1 post
Ramble ramble ramble
Decided to open up a text post on tumblr because I was rambling forever on a facebook message to my cousin. She’s almost at one of her goals (95/100lbs down from something like 280lbs at 5’2”) and quite inspiring. She tells people about her stumbles, so its a lot easier for me to relate. Plus I know her personally, and I can ask her a bunch of dumb questions.
Kind of coincided...
May 2012
3 posts
takka takka takka typing stuff
Had some shitty last few days. Feeling a bit better after this weekend. Still avoiding shit, but at least I’m feeling okay.
IDK.
I feel like typing up something, but I don’t know what? I feel pretty blank right now, and have been on and off for a while now.
Finally getting on top of acne. I broke out because of stress and it’s been taking its sweet time to go away....
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feel awful about myself. want to rip the skin off my face.* etc.
i don’t know what to do
* figuratively
3 tags
April 2012
2 posts
okay FUCK brain zaps
idk just feel like posting now.
School is mostly over at this point, just one more exam left. It was suposed to be today, but I decided to defer it because I’ve been having a horrible time this semester and I knew that they wouldn’t question my medical reasoning. Plus the Associate Dean is cool, and I have good luck when dealing with the undergrad office.
So medsmedsmedsmeds. Just...
March 2012
3 posts
0 Motivation
So I’m posting on tumblr.
I had bloodwork done relatively recently and it turns out I’m low on my iron. Which is surprising and isn’t. I eat meat and veggies, but I’m a woman with a regular menstrual period. Still bad at taking my iron supplements. Need to take Vitamin D, and probably Folic Acid too. Blah. So many little tabs to take at various times during the day.
I...
Updatey
Hullo
So idk stuff has been happening in my life and I feel like posting about it on tumblr.
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Last week wasn’t really fun. I don’t actually remember much of it now, though. Depression really spiked and things didn’t start getting better until Friday rolled around. Though my counseling session on Thursday went well. More on that later?
Weekend was good, at least....
Maybe I should stop searching for the perfect...
… and just use google doc’s forms. Only the imput is pretty, but it has what I want regarding logging things. I wonder if I can use google’s things to get things working the way I want, or something.
I at least have a mood log that I made up specifically for myself. The only problem is its current only accessible on my computer. I think. I might end up making an Andoid App...
February 2012
2 posts
Aaaaag.
slkdjflm,wdfe
AAglskjdflkejwlrksmdf I feel like I just drank four cups of coffee, without the gastrointestinal unhappiness. I can’t forget to call the Doctor’s office tomorrow for an appointment, aargh. I don’t have classes on Friday, at least I don’t think so.
I feel like I’m probably hypomanic right now, but a little voice in my head is saying...
Ramble ramble...
idk just feel like rambling on tumblr
so yeah things are going better. I think my meds are working for me, instead of against me this time. I was a bit nervous about going on Effexor, because I’ve heard terrible things about it online… but now that I know more about anti-depressants I know that all of them can mess you up. Even the ‘nice’ ones.
I somehow got no real...
January 2012
9 posts
More posts omg
So yeah just babbling about my day here:
Other than waking up late… today was an okay day. I still have to write some emails, and do some other work for tomorrow. But it went pretty well.
Managed to be productive enough to take out some recycling and some other kitchen stuff. Made food in advance because I basically had no time to yesterday. Hopefully these steel cut oats pan out so...
Sleep Hygiene...
…is something I should work on.
I’m okay with it, though there is a couple more things I could do. Well, the biggest thing is probably schedule + exercise. Get up at the same time every day. I have been attempting 9~10am because my classes start at 1pm at the earliest. They go until 7pm at the latest, so … not a fun schedule. I’ve been trying to go to bed at...
Brain come back :(
Augh. Babbling under the “read more”
Last week was awful. This week is better, but still not great. I just… dunno. I went to the doctor today to get a different prescription, and I’m hoping it’ll work. Though I’ve heard bad things about Effexor, I’ve also heard good things. So I’ll see how it goes.
I wish I could just get my brain back. I...
Stigma
Augh. I wish there wasn’t such a stigma against Mental Illness. Also about being a woman in Engineering. Or being an introvert in North American Society. It makes me feel like my existance is “wrong” or just “not the best”. Of course you have to be “the best” or “number one”. If you’re in second place, you’ve lost. Even if...
Feeling like butt
So there was this thing I saw earlier today and I’ve been feeling like butt, so might as well LISTEN.
I’ve only been doing well on 3 and 5, and sorta okay on 1. As well I have some emails to write, so I should get dressed, make some food, have a big glass of water, and somehow get outside today or do some yoga. It’s cold but I can at least walk around the block!
I should...
School Project Course
I’m one part ranting, one part trying to organize my thoughts on what to do.
So anyways, the “group leader”, Colin, of my group sent out a huge wordbarfy email last thursday detailing what needs to be done on our project. We’re behind, but it’s no one’s fault.
Anyways, to make a long story short, Colin wanted us all to work on drawing schematics for all the...
Fitbit
So, I started using Fitbit (again) for monitoring my food intake. My profile is here and add me?
Getting back into the groove of monitoring food sucks.
I’ll be logging on fitocracy eventually, but… that will be once I get into the groove of exercise again. :(
New Years... Resolutions?!
I try not to take “New Years Resolutions” all that seriously, but tis the season to write down some things, at least. It is the beginning of the winter semester and I tend to do things by semesters (which happen to be 1/3 of a year, anyways).
So, in no particular order, some resolutions:
Make my apartment awesome
Keep my apartment clean and tidy
Practice Self-Love more
Work on my...
Operation unFat
I feel fat. Though it’s because after a stressful and a Christmas filled with goodies, the weight on the scale said 188lbs. Aww :(
I’m trying hard not to beat myself up for it, though I do want to make a change now. I’d like to be back at 160lbs, which is attainable. Eventually ~145lbs, but I’ll reevaluate my goals later. So that means losing ~30lbs, which can be lost...
December 2011
1 post
4 tags
Body Image
I’ve struggled with body image for a long, long time. Starting about when I hit puberty which was about 11 for me. Makes me hate the term “Early Bleeder” but that’s another post entirely. I’d rather post about what I’m going to do about it now, which was suggested by my councilor when I spoke to her about body image and how it’s been causing me grief...
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
5 posts
Real post this time
I kind of want a little hidey hole on the internet where I can post things that isn’t livejournal. So I can link it to SA/Fb/etc. without feeling too exposed.
The things I’m likely to sporatically post about:
Cooking
Apartment Stuff
Opinions on stuff
Clothing
Artsy Stuff
Various other shit
I tried this once when I made a blogger… blog, and posted… once. ...
penis
yeah i said it
Blahrhghgh
Hi :>
