On the 26th I’ll be completely done university. I’m unlikely to go back for any sort of graduate degree (only continued education, if anything) but it’s still …. weird. Mostly because I didn’t take a break in-between schooling (not even internship, haha, would’ve ended yet another year later) and I’m a little bit nervous about leaving my comfort zone. I’m not going to miss university, but I don’t regret going.
I’m nervous about starting work. Not so much about the work itself, but about a variety of things surrounding it. Mostly social. Also schedule, because I’ll have to give up my cosy sleeping-in schedule. But, that’s only annoying, not really scary in any way.
I’m glad that everything is kind of falling into place in the right points in time. I found a good mix of medication to treat my depression with little/no side effects. I finished up therapy with a very good therapist, who was also finishing up her training at the centre and ended her time on the same day I’ll be doing my final, final exam. I have a job lined up and it pays well. It’s not perfectly idea for many reasons, but the company is good and I don’t have to stay forever and ever. I have my iron ring (that I keep forgetting to wear) and some businessy clothing. I have two weeks off before work starts, and I have enough cash saved up for groceries and rent before I get my first paycheque. I have a TFSA so I can save up for a car. I don’t know why I feel unprepared.
idk just musing
Yayay getting better at eating enough in a day + not having to gobble up emergency almonds + not eating all of my food in one meal in the evening. Whoo.
Still not consistent, but I’m feeling much better now.
I’m going to start to log my food/eating habits because I really can’t trust myself to eat enough right now and I need to retrain myself on how to eat. I’m debating on whether or not I should put it here, or on my Dreamwidth or what. Regardless I’m not going to be putting it into fitbit right away because I need to get accustomed to measuring + I hate fucking around finding items (and I dislike Livestrong). So far I’ll do it here, and I can tag it if it bothers anyone following. I just don’t want it to be searchable.
Going to do it on dreamwidth for now. It’ll be public and I’ll allow Anon unless I get too much shit.
I’m finding it so difficult to choke down enough food in a day. Not because of diet/body reasons, but because I got used to not having an appetite that now I’m finding it hard to plan for… eating enough. And actually being hungry.
Fuck you depression.
I need cooking elves. Or some hamburger helper, haha. At least I’m going grocery shopping today. At least I’m doing okay keeping up on cleaning.
Keep on keeping on.
I feel so awkward/awful in my own body.
Finished Exams and now I’m packed and ready to go fly a stupid amount of time.
I think it’s 12 hours but I don’t really care how many hours it is if its over 6. Its over 6 by a lot.
Anyways, that means I’m going to be scarce on the internet until at least 3~4pm Newfoundland time with a similar story when I fly back. Whenever that is.
As well I’m going to be a rural area, so for anyone who has my cell number I’m only going to have spotty reception and will only check my texts every so often. While I’m there I’ll have internets, so that’ll be fine.
Bye for now and I’ll probably be checking tumblr in Toronto and Halifax, so yeah. :|b
Okay I’m back in Calgs now.
God the flight back sucked.
The first leg from Deer Lake to Halifax was fine, saw a kitty too. Wholly uneventful, weather in both places was fine. The second leg, Halifax -> Calgary (stopover in Ottawa) was … not good. Plane was late, not by much, only had to wait about 45 mins. The worst was when we were waiting in Ottawa*, when the toilets ‘crapped’ out. Waited about an hour before they told us, then another two before they were fixed. Since it was Air Canada it was kind of a cluster fuck, but considering that I didn’t go onto Fort Mac or Edmonton from there, I was only so annoyed. Plus I know better than to bitch at Flight Attendants about things outside of their control. :v
* there are a lot of w’s in that phrase lol
To add to it, the bridge that got us off of the plane broke, too. It didn’t take too long to fix, but it was still very annoying. The pilot came on the intercom and said that “Its a lousy end to a lousy flight” in a very tired voice.
Though I’m home now and I am not going to get into another moving vehicle until tomorrow.
Newfoundland was fun. Pictures forthcoming. Too lazy to say much, though.
So I might not fail all of my courses. Narrowly.
For reference, my highest midterm score this term is 48%. orz
(I also forgot the formula sheet that I was allowed on that one)
I’m still bummed, but at least I’ll be able to manage my time to do the important things. If I fail the midterm tomorrow (likely) I’ll still be able to narrowly pass.
Kind of sad that I’m looking forward to C-’s.
Ahahaha I really hope employers don’t want to see my university transcripts. B+~A- student up until the last couple years and C-s everywhere.
fuck it.
EDIT: I’m sitting at about the same grade in each course, which means something I think??
aeghglhlhh.
so i guess this school year isn’t going as well as i had hoped
fuck
aaaaah I’m just going to say that I finally got a start on the visual character design on one of my OCs. aaaaah it was driving me nuts before because she didn’t really have a look… aside from some vague descriptions (slippery black hair, tall and lanky, slouchy) and now I got somewhere to jump off of yaaay
Its still got a way to morph, though. I just love bomber jackets.
